I grew up eighteen years believing that. I still remember going to my first class in my first year of undergraduate school and feeling the physical slap that Life hit me with, which brought me back into reality. When I was younger, my dad asked me, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"
My response, "I want to do charity!" I was so immature and so sheltered (and also ignorant as some may say) that I hadn't even realized that when people ask you what you want to be when you grow up, they're asking you what profession do you want to go into that pays you money so you can provide yourself shelter and food. My entire life however, I never saw the necessity of standing on your own two feet. Once again, I was brought up very sheltered. Not even sheltered actually, but I was practically spoon fed everything... everything.
Being on my own...living on my own really...was new. Last year was really when the cards turned.
I was now surrounded by people 24/7. I was practically living, breathing, and sharing friendship...I hope that made sense. No matter how hard I try to rephrase it, putting it like this is the only way I can emphasize the dramatic affect my first year of college has had on me.
I was interacting with people I never did before. I was learning the importance of having something called an "opinion." Like I said, I was ignorant.
If there was a social issue or controversy, I would hands down take the side that the people around me supported, but now I slowly began to change. I was taking sides that my heart supported. A side that my brain supported. I was forming my own conclusions now and it was like taking my first steps all over again-but this time I saw it happen.
I saw beauty in things I had never seen before. I still do. I wouldn't have however, if I didn't decide to go to college, or if I didn't decide to dorm. I can say this so surely because I spent eighteen years - parts of which were filled with travelling and attending new schools - interacting with people, but never did I change. Never did I feel like I was an infant all over again.
The difference however, is that an infant doesn't know they are a baby and they are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Me however, I was unfortunate or fortunate (whatever fits your understanding) to be conscious of every step and every mistake. It's a pretty big burden- no joke.
The reason why I wanted to post this brief "rant" or "life changing moment" is to make you aware that each and every action has a reaction. I know.. .I know...I know...very corny right?
But it is so true that it's scary. Life is like a pendulum. Everything is massive a the start, a bunch of things happen...but eventually it all comes to an end. The trick here is, instead of using your hands to stop the pendulum effect from taking place, you have to actually take a step back and watch it go back into its rightful place. That's life. Think about it....
-Anita
